


Grace & Glory

by DizzyDrea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Presumed Dead, Romance, Trope Bingo Round 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 07:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyDrea/pseuds/DizzyDrea
Summary: Kaydel Ko Connix can't believe Poe Dameron is even looking her way, but she's not going to turn him down. And thenthatmission happens, and she thinks her world is about to end. But miracles happen, and she might just get her happy ending after all.





	Grace & Glory

**Author's Note:**

> So. I'm not even sure these two ever looked each other's way in the movie, but I couldn't resist the idea of them together. Thanks to the Wookieepedia for supplying her first name. 
> 
> Title from _Skin and Bones_ by Eli Young Band.
> 
> For the _Presumed Dead_ square on my trope bingo card.
> 
> Disclaimer: Star Wars and all its particulars belongs to George Lucas, Lucasfilm, Walt Disney, JJ Abrams, Bad Robot Productions and a lot of other people who aren't me. I'm doing this for fun and for practice. Mostly for fun.

It starts with the pigtail pulling, but she doesn't have it in her to mind.

In the mess hall, just before he sits down with her to eat his lunch. Passing in the corridors, a sly smile tipping his lips as he reaches out, lightning-fast for a quick tug, never losing his stride. Whenever he sees her in Ops, he'll sidle up behind her and give a tug, ready with a wink and a smile as he ducks away to talk to whoever asked him to stop by.

She'd be upset, because it's so cliché it's maddening, but he is the best damned pilot in the Fleet, and it's not every girl on base that has Poe Dameron's attention.

~o~

"Hey, what'd you do to your hair?"

Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix reflexively reaches up and pats at the quick buns she'd tied her pigtails into just before her shift. She can feel a hot blush steel over her cheeks, but she can't do anything about it. She only wishes it were because Poe is smiling that thousand-watt smile at her.

Instead, she tugs him closer to her station, glancing around to see if that guy is still there. Seeing no one, she refocuses on him. And damn. It's not fair, but he's still stupidly handsome.

She reaches up and tucks some invisible hairs into her bun. "That new _Admiral_ , what's-his-name. He saw you yesterday, when you came to check in with Burny. Said it was unprofessional, what you did. I figured he can't complain if there's no hair to tug."

Poe smiles. "The buns are cute. Not gonna stop me from tugging, though."

And he suits deeds to words and tugs gently at the bun over her ear, dropping a wink as he makes his way across the room towards the General's office.

~o~

And it would have been fine if it had stopped there. She'd have been disappointed, sure, that he'd stopped pulling her pigtails, but she'd have gotten over it.

Only that's not what happens at all.

~o~

The next time Kaydel sees Poe in Ops, he makes a beeline for her, eyes as bright as his smile. She smiles warily back, not sure what to expect. It's only been a couple of days since she told him about the Admiral, days when he'd been on patrol, so he hadn't even been on base to pull her pigtails.

Not that she missed him.

Yeah, right. Who is she kidding? She missed him, far more than she probably should, but she's not going to apologize for it either.

His smile, if it's even possible, gets wider as he stops, mere inches from her. Probably too close for it to look anything like professional. 

"Still with the buns, I see," Poe says as he leans around her dramatically, checking out her hair. He's got his hands tucked behind his back, not even a hint that he's going to reach for her hair. 

She should be relieved, but really, she's disappointed.

She smooths the hair reflexively, pursing her lips. "It's easier this way, when I'm on duty."

"Maybe one day you'll let me see it down around your shoulders," he says, winking at her.

And then he does the very last thing she ever expected: he leans in, pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek.

Her eyes flutter closed, the traitors, and she breathes a quiet sigh. When she opens them again, he's already across the room, talking to the guys monitoring the Benthami mission. Poe's squadron is on standby, in case things go sideways, which is the only reason he's in Ops. 

Well, and apparently to kiss her.

She blushes as her fingers skate over the skin of her cheek. She can still feel the slight rasp of his beard as his lips pressed to her skin. She glances over to find him watching her. He tips her a wink, further deepening her blush, as he heads out of Ops.

Is it possible to fall in love after just one kiss?

~o~

So now, apparently, the kissing is a thing. When he sits down with her at lunch, he presses a quick kiss to her cheek. When he gets up to go, it’s a quick peck on the forehead. Passing in the halls, he doesn't even have to make contact with her to make her blush. All he has to do is wink and she's turning redder than the sky above Yavin at starset.

And then one day, he appears in Ops just as her shift is ending. She raises an eyebrow, but all he does is smile.

When she's finally closed out her station, she turns to find him leaning against the large projection console in the middle of the room.

"Something I can help you with?" she asks, hands on hips.

Poe shrugs in that way he has. "I was going to take a walk before dinner. I thought you might want to come along."

Her heart nearly beats out of her chest, but years of long practice in high-stress situations keeps her from losing it altogether.

"I'd like that," she says, which wasn't what she was going to say, but her brain-to-mouth filter must have shorted out. No matter, if it gets her that winning smile he's aiming at her, she'll go with it.

"My lady," he says, offering her his arm.

They leave through the hanger doors and wander down the flight line. Because of course he'd take her to his X-Wing. He's a pilot; all they ever think about are their ships and—

She hopes the twilight is deep enough to cover her blush. No need for him to know just how into him she is.

When they reach his X-Wing, he releases her hand and walks underneath it, skimming his fingers over the skin of her underbelly. She watches him as she stands under the wing. His face is shining with such joy, eyes dancing over every weld and rivet. He's humming something under his breath, but she can't quite make out the tune. 

"You really do love flying, don't you?" she asks, voice hushed so as not to disturb the night.

"Mmmm," he says. He glances at her over his shoulder. "It's peaceful, up there. Nobody but me and BB-8. I'm in control, I can go wherever I want, take as long as I want to get there. It's freeing, in a way."

She's never heard anyone talk about flying that way, but she supposes it's true. Apart from battle, flying an X-Wing has to be a solitary experience. Not for the faint of heart, to be sure, but also not for those who thrive on interaction and socialization.

"My mom always said I'd be a great pilot," he says, turning back to her.

"Maybe that's why you are: her faith in you, and your faith in her," she says.

She knows his family is gone. Like so many of them, orphaned by a war that just won't end. But she's glad he has this connection to the people that made him. 

He moves quick as lightning, standing before her and taking her hand. "Thank you for that," he says quietly. 

He leans in, slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away if she doesn't want this, but she's not going to move. When his lips touch hers, it's electric. He presses in close, molding her body to his as though he's not just kissing with his lips but with his whole being. She holds on tight, her fingers wrapped around his biceps as his tongue invades her mouth, leaving devastation and ruin behind. She'll never want another man's touch after this, and she's not ashamed to admit it.

When he pulls away, he rubs her chin with his thumb, smiling a soft smile, one she's never seen before. Instead of saying any number of totally ridiculous things that might break the mood, he just laces his fingers with hers and tugs her along to the mess to get dinner.

She can't remember what she ate, and she doesn't know what they talked about, but it's the best dinner she can ever remember having.

~o~

It becomes a pattern with them: whenever he's on base, if he's not in a briefing or meeting behind closed doors, he shows up near the end of her shift and waits for her to close down her station. He doesn't even ask anymore, just takes her hand and heads out.

They don't always walk the flight line, and when they do they don't always visit his X-Wing. Sometimes he'll take her to see a new craft, one she hasn't seen before. It's fun for her, in a way, being able to see where the pilots sit, so she can imagine them sitting there when she's on comms during an operation. 

But just as often he'll bypass the flight line and take her out into the fields surrounding the base, where they'll watch the sunset and talk quietly about everything and nothing. They don't talk about the war, or the First Order, or the latest casualty list, filled with too many friends and allies cut down in their prime. It's hard, this life they've chosen, and talking about it won't make it easier to cope with the losses, so they don't even try.

Instead, he kisses her, breath-stealing kisses that make her forget everything but the feel of his arms around her and his lips on hers. 

She treasures those nights, bottles the memories up in her heart, because she knows it could all be ripped away at a moment's notice, and she never wants to forget what it feels like to be the center of someone's universe.

~o~

She's barely finished firing up her station when he jogs across Ops, stopping beside her with that look on his face. It's been a long time since she's seen him in the middle of a shift, so she's startled speechless for a moment.

"Come to pull my pigtails again?" she asks, her smile full of coy teasing.

Poe shakes his head, and now she remembers that look, what it's for. It's predatory, the look of a warrior getting ready to join the fight.

"I'll be leaving soon," he says. It feels like he's stabbing her in the heart. "I just wanted to stop and say—well, I just wanted to see you before I go."

She reaches up and brushes his cheek with her fingers, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. They've talked about this, about what would happen when he has to go out on a mission. She's not afraid for him; he's good, the best in the fleet. And she knows he'll come back to her or die trying. Doesn't make it any easier to see him go.

It's when he's pulling away, when she wonders if this will be the last time she sees him, that she says, "I love you."

It's the first time either of them has said it, and for a moment, his grin is frozen on his face. But then it melts into a soft smile. "I know." He makes to step away, but at the last moment, he turns and sweeps her into his arms, kissing her for all he's worth. "I love you, too," he says, lips pressed to hers so she can feel the words and not just hear them.

"Be safe," she says as he pulls away. "May the Force be with you."

She doesn't say what she's really thinking. _Come back to me._ But she thinks he hears the words anyway.

"Always," he says.

And then he's gone.

She watches him go, not even a little bothered by the fact that she's ignoring her duty station. She can't take her eyes off of him, afraid this will be the last time she sees him.

"He'll come back."

Kaydel only notices the General standing beside her when she speaks. She gives a watery smile that the General returns. She reaches out and squeezes Kaydel's hand. "He'll come back," she says again. "The good ones always do."

And then she's gone, and so is Poe, though she can hear him through the comms as he takes off in his X-Wing, headed for who knows where. 

She returns to her station, noticing the little red blip, steady as it moves out of orbit. At least she has this, the reassuring glow of the tracking dot that represents her only connection to Poe and his X-Wing. It isn't much, but it'll have to do.

~o~

She's at her station two days later when that little red blip winks out.

It takes everything in her not to collapse on the floor of Ops, and even more strength from reserves she didn't know she had to report the destruction of the X-Wing to the General. 

But when she finally reaches her quarters that night, she can't hold it together anymore. She sinks to the floor beside her bed and quietly sobs. 

She knows that the destruction of the X-Wing is hardly proof that the pilot is dead, but it's the logical conclusion. They'll mark him missing in the database, and life will go on, but for Kaydel it feels as if this thing with Poe is ending before it's even begun. Just one more casualty of a war without end.

But despite the pain in her heart and the pounding in her head, she gets up the next morning and goes back to her station. If anyone knows what she's lost, they don't mention it, and for that she's grateful.

~o~

Two days crawl past in a fog of work and sleep and very little food, despite the fact that her friends try to ply her with treats at all hours. She appreciates the thought, but she just can't swallow past the lump in her throat. 

There's been no word from Poe, no signal from BB-8, and as the hours pass, hope begins to dwindle. Kaydel knows that if he were still alive, he'd have found a way to contact them, but she's not quite ready to give up just yet. She knows at some point that the General will have to declare him presumed dead, but she's not even sure that'll really be the end of hoping he comes back.

Everyone knows the stories, has grown up with them, so they know that the General and her brother and husband have faced longer odds and come back. It's all she can cling to now. 

~o~

The transport sets down on the flight line with very little fanfare. Kaydel's barely paying attention. She's been tracking First Order fleet movements by order of the General. There's something going on, but no one's sure what. 

Comms has been a hub of activity, with reports coming in on all frequencies. There's been a BB-8 sighting, which had made Kaydel's heart climb nearly up into her throat when she'd heard it. It doesn't mean Poe's alive, but it's further proof that if anyone could get out of a tight spot, it's him.

There's a commotion on the flight line, but Kaydel's so focused on her task that she barely notices what's going on. It isn't until she feels a tug at her bun that her head pops up. She spins around, but can hardly believe she's seeing what she's seeing.

Poe.

Poe Dameron.

Alive.

_Alive!_

She practically throws herself into his arms, not really noticing the dirty uniform or the sunburned face.

"I—I thought—Oh gods—" she blurts out, clinging to him, tucking her face into his neck and breathing him in.

He rubs her back, murmurs soothing words in her ear. "It's okay, love. I'm here now. I'm sorry I scared you."

She pulls back just enough to press a kiss to his lips. They're chapped and dry, but his eyes are sparkling and it's just so good to see that she can barely contain the joy. She knows she's crying, but she can't help it.

"You—how did you survive?" she asks with a puzzled frown. "Your X-Wing was destroyed. We all thought—"

"I wasn't in it when it blew," Poe says, shaking his head. "Storm troopers, and Snoke's lapdog. It got rough, but I made it out."

He kisses her again, and she decides that she could stay like this forever, if it meant he'd be safe, but a politely-cleared throat behind him pulls them apart. They turn to see the General gracing them with an indulgent smile.

"If you two are done, I need to debrief Captain Dameron," the General says.

"Of course, ma'am," Poe says with a nod. He turns back to Kaydel and gives a rueful smile. "Gotta go, but I'll find you later. Okay?"

She pushes up on her toes and kisses him one more time. "Get yourself cleaned up and go see medical. They'll probably track you down if you don't. We'll get dinner after."

"Yes, mother," he says with an eye roll.

When he turns around, the General is still standing there, one eyebrow raised. "If she hadn't said it, I would have."

"I have no doubt, ma'am," Poe says, grinning. "You're both a force to be reckoned with. I'd never dream of disobeying you."

"See that you don't," Kaydel says at the same moment the General says the same thing. 

Poe chuckles ruefully. "I see how it is. Ladies, your wish is my command."

The General smirks, then turns and heads for her office. Poe turns and winks at Kaydel before following the General.

When they're finally out of sight, Kaydel practically sags into her terminal. Her shift is barely half over, but she knows she's not going to be able to focus the rest of the day. She's gonna worry, the entire time he's gone, that she just imagined him, imagined his arms around her and his lips on hers.

But she didn't, and she's going to see him again in just a few hours. That thought alone calms her franticly-beating heart. She takes a couple of deep breaths and wipes the evidence of tears off her face. 

She's still got a job to do, and so does Poe. But for right now, having him back on the same base is enough.

~o~

They sleep intertwined that night. Kaydel is reluctant to let him out of her sight, as if he'll disappear the moment she's not touching him anymore. It's not rational, but up until a few hours ago, they'd all thought him dead, so she thinks she's due for a little irrationality.

Poe had been exhausted by the time he'd run the gauntlet of debrief, medical and a shower. He'd scarfed down dinner, and then practically faceplanted in bed once they'd returned to his quarters. She didn't mind; just having him beside her is enough. 

She's woken by the comm in his quarters activating. The voice on the other end of the commline is ordering him to Ops for debriefing on a new mission, and Kaydel knows that means she'll be ordered to Ops in short order. 

They dress quietly in the pre-dawn dark, neither of them willing to start the conversation. She knows she can't ask him not to go. You don't turn down General Organa when she requests you for a mission, but just this once Kaydel wishes Poe could turn her down.

He must see some of her thoughts on her face, because he pauses with boots on but pants still unbuckled to take her face in his hands.

"I will always come back to you," he says.

She knows he can't make that promise, but she doesn't care. Those are the words her heart needs to hear. "See that you do, mister. I'm not done with you yet."

Poe's smile is as bright as the sun. "Yes, ma'am."

They finish dressing and he kisses her one more time before he rushes through the door towards the flight line and his next mission. 

"May the force be with you," she says quietly before she exits his quarters and heads to her own duty station.

~Finis


End file.
